I first had the idea to write this book in the summer of 2017. My husband, Jeremy, and I had just attended an Advanced Training Institute conference in Big Sandy, Texas (later in the book, I’ll talk more about what the conference is and why we went). While there, I saw dozens of people I’d grown up with—friends who, like me, had come to Big Sandy every year. But for every old friend I saw that week, there was one or two I expected to see who didn’t show up. In the coming months and years, I’d start to hear stories of those friends. I’d find out that some of them no longer loved Jesus and wanted nothing to do with Christianity. As they reached young adulthood, they had rejected everything they’d been taught about God, the Bible, and the Christian faith.
While that is not my story—I am a Christian who loves Jesus and wants to follow Him—I have, like those friends, rejected much of the teaching I heard each year at the conference in Big Sandy. My faith is still intact, but it has changed. Instead of leaving the faith entirely, I have unthreaded, or disentangled, the truth of Christianity from the unhealthy version I heard growing up. My hope is that this book will be a help to my friends who are struggling to see who Jesus truly is. They were taught harmful and destructive teachings that have nothing to do with the grace of Jesus. They thought that was what Christianity was all about. But it isn’t.
I also hope this book can be helpful for those who are still following those teachings. When you grow up in a tight-knit community where everyone believes the same things about everything—not just who God is but also how men and women are supposed to dress and speak—it’s hard to even consider the possibility that what you were taught was wrong. My prayer is that this book will help you—no matter what community you grew up in or what you were taught—learn how to honestly examine your beliefs and know whether they are the same as what God says. I hope that the teachers you leaned on when you were younger pointed you to Jesus. But I know that’s not always the case. Thankfully, many people pointed me to Christ, but I leaned heavily on one teacher who rarely did. And so, I’m hopeful my story can be helpful if you realize someone you’ve been looking to for wisdom is lacking the wisdom you need most.
Finally, I want this book to bring many of you into my life beyond the television show. I’m thankful for the millions of people who have watched my family over the years—who saw me grow up. I know that many of you do not believe the same things I do about God and the Bible. I invite you into my life so you can see that through the highs and lows, the trials my family has endured, and the changes in what I believe and how I live, that Jesus is my strength. He is worthy. I pray this book will help you see why I follow Him.
As I began to write this book, I realized that I needed help. I am not a professional writer. I’m not an expert on the Bible. I know what I believe and what I want to say, but I’m not always the best at expressing it. So I asked a friend of mine, Corey Williams, to help. He’s a gifted writer and a student of the Bible who has helped me articulate what I believe in a way that I hope is helpful for you.
While this is not the first book I’ve written, it is the most challenging. The process has been far more emotionally exhausting than I thought it would be. It’s been tough because it’s so personal. At times, I’ve wondered if I should even write it. But I know it’s necessary. I am thankful God has given me the strength to finish it. I want you to know at the start that this book is not a tell-all. It is not a critique of my childhood. I had a wonderful childhood. My parents loved me and sacrificed so much for me. For all of us. They invested their time and energy and souls into raising me and my brothers and sisters. Their patience, kindness, and love are things I want to imitate in raising my girls. They pointed me to Jesus. So this is not a book about them. I love my mom, dad, and entire family. This is a book about me and my spiritual journey. It is the story of my faith and how I’ve had to figure out what I believe and why I believe it. This is my personal theological memoir. Thanks for coming along for the journey.